I was done with Desmond’s flaky attitude. I said my peace with him and I got comfortable with the fact that I would be resorting to a drawer of toys from now on. Last night he was going to return some of my things. I was tired and wasn’t sure what time he would be over, so I went to bed and told him the door was unlocked. I was only laying there for a few minutes before I heard the back door creak open. I heard him cross the kitchen, then the hall and into my room before sitting on my bed.
He grabbed my face and kissed me like it was our first time. There was passion and purpose. He stood and took off all his clothes, his chocolate skin hard to see in the darkness. He slipped off my panties and worshipped my body for a few minutes before penetrating me. It only took me 4 minutes to orgasm, his hand covered my mouth to quiet my moans. I tasted myself from his cock before riding him until my hips gave out. I got on my hands and knees, while he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled… hard. My pussy dripped as he pounded me hard and fast as he filled me with his hot load.
We laid next to each other for a few minutes while we caught our breath. After checking the time, he got up, got dressed and left. I rolled over and went right to sleep.
It’s hard to get quality dick when you’re a single working parent. There’s no time to peruse the bars. I can’t leave my kid at home alone to go get plowed and it would be weird telling a stranger to keep their voice down because your baby is sleeping down the hall. But taking care of myself artificially just doesn’t do it for me. Desmond has been my go to, but I’ve been slowly losing interest over the last few months.
It’s hard to get time alone together and when we are, I initiate everything. Everything. “What do you want?” “I want you.” Ugh. “How do you want me?” “I like it all.” I’m over it. I spend all day at work and all night at home being the boss and making decisions. I want someone to take over. I want someone to take advantage of me. I want to submit to someone else. Is that too much to ask?
Before you ask, yes, I told him all of these. Several times actually. I told him he could do anything he wanted to me and I’d be all in. Except penetration with no lube. That’s not fun for anyone. Spank me, slap me, tie me up, fuck my mouth, fuck my ass, blindfold me, use toys, talk dirty. I am up for it all. Hell, I even do things I don’t like because I know the other person does.
Maybe he’s just not the guy. Maybe he’s just like me – dominating all day and wants to submit at night. And that’s fine if he wants that. But that’s not the kind of guy I can deal with long term. I want a man. I want someone that will be my equal during the day, but my boss at night.
I still smell like sex.
I’ve showered, washed my hands, changed my clothes. It’s still there, penetrating my senses and triggering my memory.
Or maybe it’s just in my head.
As I relive the experience – breathing, sweating, groping, kissing, gagging, moaning, spanking, orgasming – I smell it again. A smile crosses my face and I wish I could be in that moment again.
Until next time.
My OCD need to plan isn’t always a good thing. I think about every detail and how it should be executed, even when it comes to things that are supposed to be spontaneous, like sex. But taking care of a child has made this condition even worse. I only get a couple of hours to myself after Cookie Monster is asleep and before I definitely have to sleep myself. I usually spend it cleaning, preparing meals, and deflating my boobs. When I do get the chance to do something besides that, I make a serious effort to make the most of it. I had to make sure everything was perfect because I wasn’t sure when, or if, I’d get another chance.
Background noise is very important for me. I can’t have the television on because I might watch it. Applause, laughing, or screaming is a huge distraction and I just can’t help myself. Music has its own set of issues. I can’t listen to a song I really love because I will sing along. I can’t listen to a song I really hate because then I’ll think about how much I hate it. The rhythm needs to be either very fast or very slow so I don’t think about us being in time with the music. And silence just isn’t an option. Other than breathing and talking, all the sounds of sex assault my thoughts. In the same way I don’t like listening to people eat, I don’t like listening to sex either. I don’t know if other women (or men) think about these things, but I need to plan distractions from my distractions. I scrolled through my sex playlist and tried to find something a little more current than Ginuwine’s “In Those Jeans.” Should I go with more love songs or stick to what I know? My iTunes library hasn’t seen much action lately, but I was able to replace a few songs.
I took off my bra and panties. I wanted to let him know I wanted it without being too obvious. My nipples poked through my dress nicely. Unfortunately, my boobs were the one thing I was nervous about. I am still breastfeeding, so they are working all day to make that liquid gold. And though I will be emptying them before we meet, there is always some residual left. Boobs have become very nonsexual to me over the last year and a half and though I know it’s natural to produce milk, I still think it’s gross.I’m hoping that I’ll be able to enjoy the moment instead of wondering if he’s getting a little supplementation.
With all of the issues (hopefully) dealt with, it was time to get back on the horse.
There was a string of about 5 years following college where my memory isn’t all that reliable. I was under a lot of emotional stress dealing with Mr. X, constantly moving, and spending more time away from home than actually at home. Despite not being able to remember an enormous amount of specific details during that time, I do remember Desmond.
It wasn’t love at first sight. Hell, I don’t even know if I liked him outside of our group gatherings. It wasn’t until I stopped semi-dating his best friend that I found out he had a huge crush on me. I was at a point in my life where I craved attention and decided that if he would give it to me, then I would welcome it.
He was a gentleman. He was kind. He was good looking. He gave me a hard time. He was funny. He was responsible. We both had complicated lives at the time – mine was emotionally unstable and he wasn’t in a good place with the mother of his children. And despite trying to make something work, it just didn’t. After a short lived
romance relationship period of togetherness, a series of events occurred over a few hours that led me to bail. But that’s how I dealt with problems in my mid-20s.
I got an email from Desmond a couple years ago, around the time that I heard from some other men from my past. I was already pregnant and in a terrible place again, so I didn’t try to keep a conversation flowing. A year later, I found out from stalking his Facebook page that his brother passed away. I didn’t know the details and I don’t deal with heavy topics well, but I sent him an email expressing my condolences anyway. We emailed for a couple weeks, then texted for a couple months, then started seeing each other a couple times a week after I put the baby to bed. I don’t know what I expected to happen; he expressed feelings that never went away and I was remembering all the qualities I liked about him. Although his life had calmed down, mine was the one that was a total mess now.
And just as quickly as I ended it before, he ended it again. I just can’t win.
Chills traveled through my body as you bent me over the cold, metal sink. Your hands roamed my body, as I braced myself on the wall. My shirt made its way to the floor, followed by my sports bra and shorts. You aggressively kissed your way up my back while your hands became familiar with every inch of my front. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on all of the sensations, but it was overwhelming. I turned around to look into your eyes before kissing you long and hard. I fumbled with your belt, then your button, which is par for the course. After my momentary struggle, your pants and shirt finally joined mine on the dirty bathroom floor.
I pulled your boxer shorts down as I knelt down slowly. Your cock was ready and waiting for me. I looked into your eyes as I took each inch into my mouth. You grabbed the back of my head as your cock reached the back of my throat, holding me there as my eyes watered. You released your grip and pulled out of my mouth, allowing me to take in a large breath of air. I wanted more. I gripped your ass and pulled you into my mouth over and over. Gag, spit, gag, spit. It was a cycle of events that I would’ve been happy to keep up for hours. You stood me up, getting in one last kiss before leading me to the toilet. You sat down knowing that I would take charge. You were not wrong.I turned my back to you and slid easily onto your thick, black cock. I rode you slowly at first, picking up my pace after every few strokes. My ass slapped against your thighs as I took all of you inside me. Your hands found their way to my hips, holding on, not wanting me to stop. I looked over my shoulder to see your head back, eyes closed, moaning. I grinned. I slowed my pace before turning around to face you. I braced myself on your strong shoulders and began riding you again. You took each nipple into your mouth, alternating between tongue flicks and nibbles. This time, my head was back, eyes closed, moaning. You must have sensed that I was ready to cum, but I was already at my maximum speed.
You leaned forward and gently laid me on the floor without stalling the pace. You grabbed a handful of my hair and a handful of my ass, my legs wrapped around your waist and my hands gripped your flexed biceps. I bit your neck as I braced for an orgasm. Three hard, deep thrusts was all it took and we both cried out. My body bucked off the floor, but you wouldn’t pull out. The sensation passed as your pace slowed. I opened my eyes to see a smile on your face and couldn’t help myself from smiling back.
My mind came back to the conversation as we walked past the bathrooms once more. Maybe I’d get the courage to pull you in on our next lap.
A chill went down my back as it touched the smooth tile on the shower wall. Your left hand gripped my throat as your other reached around for a handful of my ass. You lean in and shove your tongue down the back of my throat. I grow more excited by the moment as I wait for you to have your way with me. Your hand leaves my ass and I can feel it making its way to different parts of my body – my neck, my nipples, my stomach. Your hand rests on my thigh as you use it to spread my legs apart. I place my foot on the edge of the tub. You smile at me and say, “Daddy’s girl knows just what he wants.” As you begin kneel down, your mouth finds my perky tits. You take most of one in your mouth as your tongue plays with my nipple. I close my eyes as I immerse myself in the tingles moving throughout my body. You move to the other side, tickling my nipple the same way. I can feel my pussy start to drip as you continue to work me up. You finally get on your knees and I feel the warm water bouncing off your head and onto my stomach. I can feel your warm breath on my throbbing, wet pussy. “I’ve been a good little girl.” You tease me for what seems like an eternity. I feel your hand slide up my leg and it begins to tremble. Simultaneously, your tongue barely grazes my clit while you gently slide two fingers inside my welcoming pussy. Your pace quickens almost immediately as your tongue flicks and your fingers plunge into me. I try to hold on to something as my body is overcome with waves of pleasure, but there are no surfaces to grab. Your rhythm slowed significantly as I began to reach my peak. My body was relaxing, but I still wanted more. “Please, Daddy. I want more.” You stand up and lean in for a kiss, letting me taste myself off your lips. When you pull away, you put your dripping wet fingers in your mouth to taste my juices. “Does my little girl want a taste?” I nod but stay quiet. Your fingers make their way to the back of my throat as my tongue covers every inch in search of the sweet taste. You suddenly spin me around, putting your left arm behind my neck to pin me down. You thrust your rock hard cock in my tight hole. I brace myself against the wall as your push yourself deeper and deeper inside me. My mouth opens, but no sounds came out. I began to rock back and forth, pushing myself onto you. I placed my foot on the edge of the tub to let you in deeper. We got a rhythm and I heard you grunt each time you got all the way inside me. “Yeah baby. Fuck me harder. I like it deep.” My body trembled as I began to reach my peak again. Your right hand grabbed a handful of my damp hair. I reached around to grab your body and pull you toward me, wanting even more than you were giving me. I cried out as an orgasm came over me, moaning louder and louder. You continue ramming me until I finish and the muscles in my body relax. You release your arm from my neck, spin me around, and force me to my knees. You moan loudly as you shoot your load all over my face. You step out of the shower with a smile on your face, leaving me covered in your juice.
This was written in 2013, back when I was new at this.